I can't believe it's already here! It seems like Tessa and I talked about this years ago... I think it may have been a few months, lol, but anyway, you get the point. I am so excited to see everyone for the photo shoot fundraiser - we have some friends from South Carolina driving down to be there and I also have a friend who literally had a baby just a few days ago who is going to try and come!!! I think we have a pretty full schedule, but we have one or two photographers on stand-by to take people who haven't signed up and surprise us :) It should be a great day!
We are so blown away by everyone's generosity and excitement over this fundraiser for our family and can't wait for tomorrow! I will be there the entire day - Kyle and Skylar might make it out, but it depends on how she's doing and the weather... she doesn't survive the heat very well. We have a lot of great food and drinks and even a birthday cake for Skylar's 7 month birthday (compliments of McEntyre's Bakery - they did our wedding cake - AMAZING!!!). So again, thank you to everyone who has donated money, donated breast milk for Skylar, sent us cards, brought us meals, and prayed for us. It DOES make a difference! We are still standing - and surprisingly doing well all things considered!
I have to switch topics for a moment here because some of my last posts have got me thinking and I've had a lot of great conversations lately... I said this a week or so ago, but if Jesus were a person, physically here on earth, I would be doing everything in my power to get to Him in hopes of seeing Him, touching Him, having Him speak to me, etc. all for Skylar's healing. I was going to write in my last blog, something along the lines of, "I'm doing everything that I can to do that now..." (get in front of Him, listen to Him, etc. etc.) but I stopped typing because I realized I wasn't. I have been too busy just trying to live out a "normal" day that I haven't been reading my Bible. I definitely pray, but not as often as I should in a situation like I am in, and I certainly have my mind on other things - although important, I still shouldn't overlook my relationship with God. I do think about serious topics a lot and always want to know what God wants me to do, how to act and how to pray, but I have slacked off with pursuing Him, especially reading scripture and being still to hear His voice.
I feel like I have grown so much as a person since Skylar has come. Seven months... wow. I feel much older, wiser, and I think I have a greater understanding of this life from just 6 months ago, but there is still so much growing to be done and I certainly don't claim to have all the answers. I am trying to spend more time reading the Bible, praying, and literally doing all that I can to get in front of God on Skylar's behalf, and mine. I am not expecting to be perfect, there will be days that I screw up - probably lots of them, but I am expecting God to show up and meet me where I am.
So my attempt for today: I thought it was funny though because I opened up a "devotional" book if you want to call it that, and the page I opened to had two titles, "You Must Fight For Your Life" and "What Is Seen Is Temporary, But What Is Unseen Is Eternal" - really God? Can you speak more directly to me?! I had to laugh. The scripture quoted was 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 which says... "Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and monetary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
Now I have to stop and say I always marvel how pastors can take one or two verses and create a whole sermon out of it, but I think these verses make it easy. Don't worry, I am by no means a preacher and won't write a novel, but I was just so amazed how much these verses contained. Not losing heart... that's such a struggle for everyone - not just those who are in a time of suffering. Physically wasting away, but somehow being renewed daily... that is the story of my life right now. What is this eternal glory? And these eyes... maybe not our eyes in our head but those in our heart? I so look forward to the day when there is no suffering and Skylar can run around, smiling, laughing, and feeling wonderful the way she should. I am hoping that day will happen here on earth for her, but I might have to wait until we get to Heaven to see it.
I am so thankful she's made it to 7 months and is still doing well. Even though she's getting weaker (she just gets tired more easily and her breathing is getting harder for her to maintain on her own the whole day), we've managed to stay out of the hospital due to infections or collapsed lungs. She's still moving her arms some and wiggling her feet and she still smiling every now and then. I even got a giggle from her last night when some friends were over. Music to my ears and a joy that fills my heart! Even though I know the end is drawing nearer and it's becoming more of a reality for us, we look forward to celebrating each day with her and still hope for a miracle... I won't stop asking God for that until she's been buried.
Thanks for reading - have a great weekend and we'll hopefully see you at Whittier Mill Park sometime Saturday :) Peace to you.